8.7.17

FEAR.

Poverty's paradise
I don’t think I could find a way to make it on this earth
I've been hungry all my life

(...)

Why God, why God do I gotta suffer?
Pain in my heart carry burdens full of struggle
Why God, why God do I gotta bleed?
Every stone thrown at you restin' at my feet
Why God, why God do I gotta suffer?
Earth is no more, won't you burn this muh’fucka?
I don’t think I could find a way to make it on this earth

(...)

If I could smoke fear away, I'd roll that mothafucka up
And then I'd take two puffs
I'm high now, I'm high now
I'm high now, I'm high now

(...)

I'll prolly die anonymous
I'll prolly die with promises
I'll prolly die walkin' back home from the candy house
I'll prolly die because these colors are standin' out
I'll prolly die because I ain't know Demarcus was snitchin'
I'll prolly die at these house parties, fuckin' with bitches
I'll prolly die from witnesses leavin' me falsed accused
I'll prolly die from thinkin' that me and your hood was cool
Or maybe die from pressin' the line, actin' too extra
Or maybe die because these smokers are more than desperate
I'll prolly die from one of these bats and blue badges
Body slammed on black and white paint, my bones snappin'
Or maybe die from panic or die from bein' too lax
Or die from waitin' on it, die 'cause I'm movin' too fast
I'll prolly die tryna buy weed at the apartments
I'll prolly die tryna diffuse two homies arguin'
I'll prolly die 'cause that's what you do when you're 17
All worries in a hurry, I wish I controlled things

(...)

When I was 27, I grew accustomed to more fear
Accumulated 10 times over throughout the years
My newfound life made all of me magnified
How many accolades do I need to block denial?
The shock value of my success put bolts in me
All this money, is God playin' a joke on me?
Is it for the moment, and will he see me as Job?
Take it from me and leave me worse than I was before?
At 27, my biggest fear was losin' it all
Scared to spend money, had me sleepin' from hall to hall
Scared to go back to Section 8 with my mama stressin'
30 shows a month and I still won't buy me no Lexus
What is an advisor? Somebody that's holdin' my checks
Just to fuck me over and put my finances in debt?
I read a case about Rihanna's accountant and wondered
How did the Bad Girl feel when she looked at them numbers?
The type of shit'll make me flip out and just kill somethin'
Drill somethin', get ill and fill ratchets with a lil' somethin'
I practiced runnin' from fear, guess I had some good luck
At 27 years old, my biggest fear was bein' judged
How they look at me reflect on myself, my family, my city
What they say 'bout me reveal if my reputation would miss me
What they see from me would trickle down generations in time
What they hear from me would make 'em highlight my simplest lines

I'm talkin' fear, fear of losin' creativity
I'm talkin' fear, fear of missin' out on you and me
I'm talkin' fear, fear of losin' loyalty from pride
'Cause my DNA won't let me involve in the light of God
I'm talkin' fear, fear that my humbleness is gone
I'm talkin' fear, fear that love ain't livin' here no more
I'm talkin' fear, fear that it's wickedness or weakness
Fear, whatever it is, both is distinctive
Fear, what happens on Earth stays on Earth
And I can't take these feelings with me
So hopefully they disperse
Within fourteen tracks, carried out over wax
Searchin' for resolutions until somebody get back
Fear, what happens on Earth stays on Earth
And I can't take these feelings with me
So hopefully they disperse
Within fourteen tracks, carried out over wax
Wonderin' if I'm livin' through fear or livin' through rap
Damn

Kendrick Lamar, FEAR., em DAMN. (2017)